I have a boyfriend of two years who is 4 years younger than me. He has to leave the U.S. to further his studies and he'll be gone for 6 years. During the past 2 years we were together, he had actually two-timed me twice. But after these incidents, he had really made an effort to change. I have to admit that I still doubt him at times. I really don't know whether I should wait. I'm already 26 years old this year, and by the time he's back I'll be 32. Will he come back for me? Is it worth waiting for him? Will he two-time me again?
We certainly can't predict your boyfriend's future behavior without ever having met him, but based on what you've told us, we think chances are slim that he would remain faithful to you during six years abroad. Have you asked him the questions that you're asking us about whether or not he plans to come back? And have you asked yourself some of the same questions - are you sure that you want to not date anyone else for the next six years while waiting for someone you have your doubts about? You should talk to him before he leaves about both of your expectations for the relationship. If, before he leaves, you both decide to continue the relationship, you might want to take a wait-and-see approach and evaluate the relationship after he's moved and settled in. Things are likely to change a lot in the next six years for both of you, and we think if you treat each other with honesty and respect that everything will work out fine, whether you end up together or not.
Related: Ask Gothamist on long distance love during college.
Ask Gothamist on suspicions of cheating.
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