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2006_01_28_bloomie.jpgIt was Mike’s week. Actually, considering the mayor’s worth more than you can imagine and New Yorkers gush over him as if he’s some kind of savior, maybe this is shaping up to be his century. Call him Bloomer, Hizzoner, Moneyberg, Li’l Mike – choose your favorite nickname. It doesn’t much matter, because you can call the short, nasily-voiced gazillionaire with an eerie ability to placate New York City’s most vociferous factions any name you want – he’s not listening.

To present his ‘State of the City’ speeches this week, Bloomer bounced from borough to borough, and by the time he got to Staten Island, people at the pulpit were making jokes about Hizzoner and a whoopee cushion at the dinner table. “Just as long as the Post doesn’t hear about it,” he rebutted.

And charming, to boot.

So what’s he up to? Well, he’s taking on guns, because they kill people. Simple. The 7 train extension to the far West Side and down to 34th Street is, according to Metro, now at the top of the agenda. Fifty cents more for a pack of smokes. (Don’t worry, cigarettes kill.) Thanks to the Times for putting the diabetes epidemic on the front page; now Bloomberg can tackle it. Money for education. Health care for every schoolchild. And if spurring business development, boosting tourism and building houses for the poor wasn’t enough, Bloomer’s going to crack the whip on Larry Silverstein and emasculate blowhard-Pataki in Albany by taking charge of the development of the World Trade Center.

Radio talk show hosts gushed over Mike’s “amazingly ambitious blueprint” for the city. The Times editorial page, a well-known bastion of Moneyberg praise, said our dreamy leader “is nothing if not a grand overachiever, and his to-do list was so well chosen that it’s impossible not to cheer his agenda.”

Unadulterated glorification like this makes me wonder if he didn’t promise he’d foot the bill for all of us working stiffs to quit our jobs and become the artists, professional athletes and rock stars we all really believed we could be once upon a time, during a happier, more hopeful and younger time in our lives.

Gore Vidal, what do you always call us? “The United States of Amnesia.”

Boy, that transit strike was tough, and from what I read (that labor-based story doesn’t make the front page much anymore), there’s still no contract for MTA employees. What did Big Mike say during that? The striking workers were “selfish” and “thuggish.” Oops, what happened to all that charm? Fine, that was only a weeklong headache. But even if the workers end up with the short end of the stick, how much faith do you have in our antiquated transit system? It’s in desperate need of an overhaul. A big one. If Bloomberg has the chutzpah to take on Pataki’s budget and his disgraceful WTC work, can he revitalize the MTA with his efficient corporate streamlining skills?

And with such a positive, humanitarian agenda, why does he so viciously, every month, go after bike riders on the streets of New York?

Perhaps the mayor’s flagship reform has been the city’s giant, hobbled education system. Without question, a noble endeavor. There has been progress, but there are some thorns on those rose stems. In a report entitled, “Adding up the Numbers: The Education Budget under Mayoral Control,” the Educational Priorities Panel calls parts of the Mayor’s budget policy “reprehensible.”

Pundits asked silly questions (as they often do) this week like, “Do you think that Mayor Bloomberg’s ambition is setting himself up for a fall?” The answer is: we could only wish that all politicians were so ambitious, and more, showed so many results. Besides the fact that a major news media mogul is also a major politician (when we look at Italy, we call Berlusconi corrupt), the take-home message is that Bloomberg is not a career politician.

Why would a man who has already made his fortune want to be mayor of New York City? The answer is twofold. First, he believes that his know-how, put to good use, will make for better government, and in turn, better the lives of New Yorkers. That one lets you sleep at night. Second reason? Megalomania.

In Michael Ruben Bloomberg’s case, it’s most likely a bit of both. And for the most part it’s a good thing to not have another politician kowtowing to lobbyists, money, and let’s be frank, corruption.

But even if the mayor carries out every bit of his blueprint – even if he plants something we can be proud of at Ground Zero – let’s quit with the awestruck veneration; it’s not our job, and if we looked at ourselves, it’s not very becoming.

Andrew Bast lives in Long Island City, is selling his first novel, "The Casualty" and tries to think about Isiah Thomas as little as possible. He can be found online at nyinquirer.blogspot.com.