The guy I've just begun dating lives and works way out in New Jersey (read: there's no PATH nearby), and it's wearing on our ability to develop a real relationship. We both get home from work late at night, and by that time the commute (approx. an hour) is too much for either of us to make. Everything between us is wonderful, but I'm beginning to think that I should say goodbye to him and focus my efforts on finding a NYC-dwelling man.
Darlene, UpperWest Side (aka: far from NJ)

First off, have you recently been to Urban Outfitters? If not, then make a quick trip and get your man a "New Jersey: Only the Strong Survive" t-shirt. It's a Gothamist fave, and many a NJ-cum-NYer has been spotted proclaiming their intact entry into NYC. (For kicks you can tuck the real estate section of the papers in the gift...).

If your guy is not contemplating a move anytime soon, then why not trade off weekends having fun in your respective places? The two of you together can explore New Jersey, and may discover some real fun over there! At the same time, if your relationship is such that you can continue comfortably to see other people, then do indeed explore your city. If NJ-man seems to be winning out over any other, then give him and his Garden State a fair shot. Time management will be important, but if you're both committed to a relationship, you can make it happen.