I am 19 years old and live in London, and my boyfriend is from New York. We met in college in London - we've been going out for 6 months and love each other dearly. We are both applying for universities right now, but I am applying in London and he is applying in America. We are both confused about the future and don't really talk about it. He says that he can’t deal with a long distance relationship because they never work and the pain would be to much for him to handle. At the beginning of our relationship I was always the one who said that I wouldn’t be able to handle a long distance relationship and that I would break up with him. But now because I love him so much, I can’t bear to lose him. We've become best friends and now I would like to try a long distance relationship but I have not told him this because he has made it clear that he thinks that it wouldn’t work.What do I do? Should I break up with him? Should I stay with him until he leaves me? Or should I confront him?
We think you should definitely have an open and honest discussion with your boyfriend about how both of you feel about having a long distance relationship. Since you have changed your mind about how you feel about the issue, maybe your boyfriend has too - but it sounds like he may not even be aware of your current opinion on the issue. So, if you both discuss it and come to the agreement that it could work, you could give long distance love a try.
However, if you want our brutally honest opinion, we think you might not want to be tied down to a long distance relationship during your college years. College is a great time and place to meet all kinds of people - not just potential dating material, but friends as well. If you are always on long distance phone calls and e-mails and IMs, and spending any free time and money on travelling far away to see your boyfriend, you could miss out on a large part of your college experience. We think it’s also very difficult for two people in college to be faithful to their long-distance loves. We’re sure you both really care about each other and will work things out so you can both enjoy your college experience to the fullest.
You might want to check out this pamphlet on Long Distance Relationships from a college counseling center. It starts by stating, "The first key to success with long distance relationships is effective communication."