Borat is a hit. It's getting rave reviews, grossing millions, and definitely the most quotable thing we've seen in ages. But Borat seems to have missed most of the -ist cities, and we were all wondering how the film would have been different if he'd made his way around the world on the -ist tour.
Our European -ists, Borat would get Big, Hairy Learnings of Gherkins for Make Geeky Reflection of Glorious Whores and Michael Jackson, along with Thai Food Learnings of Sewer Tours for Make Benefit Glorious Music Films of Ségolène Royal or Beaujolais Nouveau.
In Austin, Borat would get Varied Musings of Sad Irishmen for Make Glorious Resolve of Smokers. A few hours away in Houston, Borat would bear witness to Cat-killing Learnings of Washed-Up Singer For Tattle Glorious Holiday Cocktail of Crazy Congresswoman.
Borat's already been to New York City and Los Angeles, but if he visited the Gothamist and LAist editors, he'd get Cellephonic Learnings of Field for Baseball Game of Big Apple Town for Make Musicalness Benefit Gobble Nation of Premier Wanna Be Gooliani, and Artistic Learnings of Frosting for Make Anti-Taser Photo Essay for Glorious Republic of Iggy Pop Rider and Stimpy Peppers, respectively.
In Philadelphia, Borat would see Musical Cuteness of Automobiles for Make Search Glorious Sidewalks of Crazies, and in Chicago, he'd get Italian Learnings of Fighting for Make Olympics Glorious Venus of Mustaches. And last but not least, in San Francisco, Borat would pick up Sexy Guys Wrapping Sweaters Around Their Shoulders for Make Glorious Sports Teams Go Bye Bye and Clutural Learnings of Gun Show for Make Guns Owners Shy of Camera.
Edited and compiled by Jillian Ashley Blair Ivey.
Images above generated on BoratSays.