2004_09_ask_waitingphone.jpgI have been dating this guy for the past few months (he was actually was my first love in high school). We had been spending a lot of time together and things appeared to be okay - until he suddenly stopped answering my phone calls. A friend of mine called him and asked him the reason for his actions. He explained to her that I had done nothing wrong nor had I upset him, he simply felt that things were "moving too fast" and he needed some space. I don't know what to think. He has been very honest with me and I do not feel there is another woman but I can’t understand his sudden actions. We had not discussed being committed to one another, and I thought we were just getting to know each other since being apart over 10 years. I really adore him, as I feel he does me. He will not talk to me and I really do not know what to think. Is there an explainable reason for his actions?  What should I do?
- G.P.

Ask Gothamist realizes how frustrating it can be when one person wants closure in a relationship, yet the other person refuses to talk about it. Recent Gothamist Interviwee Amy Sohn just wrote a column for New York Magazine about dating fadeaways, aka The Guy (or Girl) Who Just Never Calls Back. Amy’s theory is that some people seem to consider the breakup talk a thing of the past, with ‘serial daters’ reasoning that it’s acceptable to just cut off contact after a few dates.

In your case, it sounds like you have a more complex history with this guy. We’re sure he does have his reasons for not wanting to see you or talk to you - and maybe the timing is just bad and he really does need some space - but we certainly can’t analyze his psychology and motives without knowing him at all. Regardless of his reasons, we think the best course of action would be for you to accept the fact that this relationship is not working out and move on. You’ve given it a try with this man not once, but twice, and it hasn't worked out. You might want to read the recent Ask Gothamist post on meeting new people to date.