Help! I have a fabulous cat and a fabulous boyfriend but they just don't seem to get along too fabulously. Any ideas on how I can get them to like each other or at least co-exist?

2004_11_askcats.jpgIn our experience, it is easier to reason with a human than a cat, so we suggest you start by trying to convince your boyfriend to warm up to the cat. We think it will naturally follow that the cat will then warm up to him.

We have two cats: one who will immediately jump into the lap of anyone he meets, and another who is shy with people he doesn't know. When we asked a friend to cat-sit for a few days, we made her come over first to spend some quality time with Shy Cat. We showed her how to rub his ears just the way he likes, we demonstrated how the Cat Dancer would turn him into a pile of cat-joy, we explained not to touch his paws because he doesn't like it. She did all the right moves while cat-sitting Shy Cat, and now he loves her and purrs like crazy when he sees her, running right up to her when she comes over and rubbing his head on her. You might want to try a similar approach with your boyfriend/cat. Tell him about your cat's unique qualities - is she great at snuggling, or wonderful at playing, or has an extra-loud purr that makes you giggle? Show your boyfriend how your cat reacts when you feed her treats or give her catnip, and start encouraging him to do the same. Buy your cat a new toy and let the boyfriend give it to her.

Go slowly - don't try to force a connection. Just let them get to know each other and subtly encourage some human-cat bonding. We're sure as the boyfriend feeds kitty more treats and gives her new toys and catnip that she'll warm right up to him. Before long, you'll probably find the two of them curled up together in perfect human-feline bliss.