This morning, Governor Cuomo made yogurt the "Official New York State Snack," thereby cementing our state as the second lamest behind only Utah, who claim Jell-O as their state snack food. At least jiggly sugar foodstuffs aren't a virtuous dairy product that helps regulate your bowels. If you're eating it for health, it's not a goddamn snack.

Of course, the "enjoyment" derived from eating yogurt isn't the reason it's being heralded in this official capacity. "This designation is a fitting recognition of the importance of this state's yogurt industry, which has experienced tremendous growth over the past few years, making New York the top yogurt producer in the nation," Cuomo said in a statement. "We will continue to work with New York producers and dairy farmers to build upon this progress and further strengthen this critically important industry." Hmmm...what other kinds of sway does Big Yogurt have in our state politics?

Cuomo's sexy money times with the yogurt lobby aside, can anyone really say with a straight face that yogurt should be considered a snack? Are we really kowtowing to 4th graders on important issues like our snack food swagger with other states? And if the dairy theme is really so important, couldn't we at least get ice cream or—I can't believe I'm writing this—frozen yogurt?