Good morning, rats are everywhere! In our toilet bowls, in our mouths, crawling across our faces the moment we fall asleep on the subway, in plastic bags we bring to court. So it should come as no surprise to see this big guy getting his freak on at Eli Zabar's gourmet Upper East Side market E.A.T., which is popular with the Met museum set.

It's true that the "Rat Spotted In NYC" story is a little rat-bites-man, but who doesn't enjoy starting their week with a bracing shot of rat porn? The NY Post scored this classic video, captured through the front window of the store early yesterday.

Reached by phone this morning, a manager at E.A.T. was unaware of any rat problem. Informed that video and photos of the rat had been published by the Post, she replied, "It's in today's Post?... Uh-oh."

Your move, Upper West Side.