There are many prospective reasons why your preferred Starbucks beverage keeps coming to you with your name spelled incorrectly. One assumes it's hard to hear over the rumble of the Frappuccino blender and hordes of squealing middle-schoolers that pile in when school lets out, for instance; lines are usually long; and so many goddamn people come in looking for those Pumpkin Spice drink things or whatever all day that baristas probably don't care whether your name is Sarah with an "h," or has only two vowels.

But a new parody video produced by East Village comedian Paul Gale will shatter your forgiving assumptions about these "mistaken" misspellings—there's a far more sinister force at work here. Prepare to be enlightened:

Starbucks parodies can skew towards the unfunny—consider SNL's fairly racist "Verisimo" sketch last year—but the pained facial expressions worn by customers receiving their "Gessika" and "Pawl" cups will make you giggle, provided you're as coldhearted a person as I am. Bonus points for "Nychal"'s brutal, almost nihilistic grief when presented with his birthday candles. Your pain is our pain, Nychal, and we're going to laugh at it.