You may think the feeding frenzy at your family gatherings is intense, but they've got nothing on the all-you-can-eat crab leg battles that rage at a Brooklyn seafood buffet. The Seaport Buffet in Sheepshead Bay boasts all manner of unlimited fare from egg rolls to sushi to stuffed clams, but it's the steamed snow crab legs that in-the-know eaters fight hardest for. And when that tray drops, boy, you better be ready...
This battle-by-tongs happens at every meal, apparently, according to Yelpers who've experienced the fracas firsthand. "The people act like savages and stalk the crab legs until they come out," according to one; "You literally have to wait for it to come out and grab a tong... and start trying to grab as many as you can and come out alive," said another. Others offered advice for anyone daring enough to enter the Crab Zone:
Heres the system ... I call it the "buddy crab system", always come here with a partner and take turns waiting for the crab legs. The minute you arrive one of you grab your plate and fill up on the standard buffet and the other wait for the crab legs.. This part is vital, grab a tong and position yourself so you may be able to grab as many as you can... Preferably the middle. But beware of flankers coming from the opposite to invade you crab leg territory. Do not celebrate until you get to you table as there are small skirmishes for rubbing it in your defeated foes faces.
The battle has not been won until butter drips from the jaws of the victor.
For more of what it takes to score crab legs at the Seaport Buffet, here are some more dispatches from Brooklyn's most ferocious crustacean palace:
In this season of generosity and good will toward men, it's important to remember that if you want the best at an all you can eat buffet, you'll need to shove your fellow man out of the way to get it. As Jesus once said, have compassion for these people, for they must fight each other for crab legs.