With the original Famous Ray's Pizza closing, New Yorkers everywhere are wondering: how can the country's goal of a 50% obesity rate be achieved by 2030? With a little help from our robot friends, we'll be getting fatter right on schedule: two New York City entrepreneurs are currently testing a pizza-making vending machine that can crank out a pie in 90 seconds. That's right, in the time that it takes you to call your favorite pizzeria and beg them to use ranch dressing instead of tomato sauce just one more time, you could have a piping hot pie!

As the video states, what's unique about this machine is that it uses "fresh ingredients" and creates the pizza "virtually from scratch." No word on whether Pizzametry will pay the $65 million required to change the definition of the word "fresh."


The company's founder, Puzant Khatchadourian, touts himself as a modern "Horatio Alger story," as he arrived in NYC 50 years ago "virtually penniless." He dreamed of making a pizza machines that "could be installed in airports, on Army bases, in hospitals." The only thing that could make flying better is smelling one of these babies in the seat next to you. As for hospitals? Dammit Nurse I said "SAUSAGE" not "syringe!" This man is dying!

Pizzametry claims it has $13 million raised already. But what will probably seal the deal to get their 5 test-market machines built is the feature of the flat-screen TV installed on every machine that is designed to "Capture the customer's attention and shortening the preceived wait time." (Because 90 second is 89 seconds too long.) This noble machine truly embodies the soul of the city: cheap pizza and taxi cab TVs.