That ban on caffeinated alcoholic drinks got you in the dumps? Wish you could spend your time doing something about it rather than just watching the bans pop up like chickenpox? Say no more, friends, because Buzzfeed has a recipe for homemade Four Loko. And according to a five-person blind taste test, it tastes better than the original:
Our mouths are salivating just watching that. The recipe calls for Jolly Ranchers, Monster energy drink, Sprite, a 40 of malt liquor and a caffeine pill, just to make sure it gets that extra kick. We're not doctors or anything, but we're pretty sure this isn't safe. Which is why an actual doctor has opposed the state ban. Hunter College addiction expert and psychology professor Dr. Jeffrey T. Parsons told us, “I'm quite concerned about all the negative attention these drinks are getting, including the efforts by states to ban them. When you are dealing with young people, this activity is actually making such drinks more attractive. Young people want more of what they are told they shouldn't have. Even if they ban the combined caffeine-alcohol drinks, youth will just make them on their own because now we have told them how bad they are." But just think, now our generation can tell our grandkids about the good old days making Bathtub Sparks.
Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer announced in a press release that the FDA "will rule that caffeine is an unsafe food additive to alcoholic beverages, effectively making products such as Four Loko, Joose, and others like them, prohibited for sale in the United States." Schumer said, "This ruling should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks. Parents should be able to rest a little easier knowing that soon their children won’t have access to this deadly brew." Thanks for doing the parenting for us, Schumer! Now kids will just have to mix their soda and alcohol the old fashioned way.