Since this heat precludes getting any meaningful work done, let's watch this video of competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi chugging a gallon of whole milk. The fallen hot dog idol took on the infamous "Milk Challenge" at an appearance at Uncle Bob's Self Storage in Upper Saddle River, N.J., putting back the entire jug of cow juice in just 18 seconds.

While most attempts at this dairy disaster result in regurgitation—warning: puke ahoy—Uncle Bobs reps say not only did he keep it all down, afterwards he even had the stamina to boogie with an Inflatable Waving Tube Man (awkward). It should also be noted that the milk chugging came after the man had eaten 13 cupcakes in under a minute.