It has come to our attention that a certain Georgia-based fast food chicken company is unhappy with how some people choose to live their lives. Fortunately, "KFC" has so such prejudices, and the Colonel himself wants you to know how much he enjoys listening to Bette Midler and dining with "the gays."

Stick around for Goodman to tell you that he "don't actually give a shit," as things get pretty dark in this bizarre sketch—it's The Ladykillers meets Night Of The Living Dead.

We were reminded of Goodman's turn as Big Dan, in O Brother, Where Art Thou? in which his character shows that he has the gift of gab (and the gift of tree limb).