The only problem we have with Dunkin' Donuts new Sausage Pancake Bites (AKA "Meat Munchkins") is that the chain doesn't sell any pork-flavored coffee to enjoy them with. Thankfully, J&D Foods, which specializes in bacon, has partnered with Jones Soda "to create a special-edition bacon-flavored drink just in time for the holidays." Because nothing says Merry Christmas like the taste of liquefied fried swine. Here's video of some potential customers tasting the concoction—it looks like somebody needs to tell Jones Soda that the purpose of advertising is to promote a product, not spread the word about how vile it is.
J&D Foods owner Justin Esch tells AOL News, "[Jones] knows soda. We know bacon. We were destined to merge our technologies for something big. We've already made bacon beauty products, bacon stationery and edible bacon products, so something drinkable was next." (The only way Esch can top this is by strapping on water skis, stapling a couple pounds of bacon to a life vest, and jumping over a bacon-flavored shark.) For just $10, you get two bottles of bacon-flavored soda, a bag of Cheddar BaconPop popcorn, a tube of bacon lip balm and a packet of brand-new bacon-flavored country gravy. And if you don't dig on swine, the company also sells a Tofurky and gravy soda.
The Daily News also got some reactions from brave taste testers. Tyrone Wallace of Brooklyn declares, "It made me want to throw up." And David Horowitz, an Orthodox Jew, agreed to try the traif. "My mother is rolling over at this one, but I will give it a try," said Horowitz. "Tastes like beef or something. It's quite strong, and thick. Oh! And it is gross! Who would want that?" Yes, surely Americans will recoil in horror at this sickening new meat-based abomination!