[UPDATE BELOW] Today Mayor de Blasio is on Staten Island, scarfing pizza with local residents at Goodfellas Pizza to show everyone what a regular paisan he is. But it appears that the whole visit has blown up in his face, as multiple reports indicate that de Blasio was brazenly eating his pizza with... are you sitting down? A fork. And a knife. Bear witness:

You know who else likes to defile the sanctity of New York pizza with a fork and knife? Hitler. Sarah Palin. And Donald Trump. What have we gotten ourselves into with this guy, many wonder at this hour. Condemnation has been swift:

Even worse, it appears that de Blasio flip-flopped on his pizza eating methodology, alternating between hands and utensils in a craven attempt to pander to both sides of the issue:

Will the real Bill de Blasio please stand up and eat his pizza like a real New Yorker? Where is this guy from anyway, BOSTON?

The mayor's press office did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Update 3:29 p.m.: De Blasio's fired back with what we have to admit is a pretty unfuckwithable response:

Meanwhile, the now-infamous fork has been preserved for future historians: