Kids these days—can you believe the amount of booze they're tossing back? It's like having a fake ID is a right of passage for New York teens! But there might be some hope yet for the littlest lushes.

A third of New Yorkers under 21 say they've already started to drink, and half of those drinking consume five or more drinks in an hour, according to a new study [pdf] from the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, the biggest boozers are white kids hailing from Staten Island. "It's boring on Staten Island, so, of course, everyone will get high and drink," one 15-year-old girl told the Post. "It's really easy to buy alcohol, and I know kids whose parents are totally fine with them drinking," she added. So we apparently can't blame Staten Island for the decline of LES nightlife, after all.

But there is a silver lining in this tale! Turns out that kids here aren't actually as debaucherous as they could be—New York teenagers drink 10 percent less than the bored high schoolers hanging out in basements across America. "Research demonstrates that the diverse, vibrant environments (arts, sports, other cultural activities) of urban landscapes such as NYC appear to reduce the likelihood of youth initiation to or use of psychoactive substances, such as alcohol and drugs," reported the Health Department. See, that's the benefit or raising your kid in the city: give 'em a whole bunch of stuff to experiment with while they're young, so by the time they're legal, they've already mastered the air of disaffected cool that sloppy Midwestern transplants spend years trying to achieve.