Tired of the crazy lines at the 14th Street location? Don't have a problem surreptitiously supporting PepsiCo? Couldn't care less about underpaid tomato pickers? Great! Then perhaps you'd like to consider doing your Trader Joe's shopping at the brand-new, spaciously appointed Staten Island location instead.

The new store, the borough's first, is set to open this Friday at 2385 Richmond Avenue in New Springville with a grand celebration. It will feature freakishly friendly employees and a Staten-centric aesthetic, like a "Snug Harbor Botanical Garden" flower section, an "Outerbridge Diner" cooking demo area, and a "South Beach Deli" meat case. There will also be a 256-spot parking lot to contain the chain's legions of devoted fans (see: "Trader Joe's + Staten Island = Perfect Together"), which will hopefully help keep this location free from any demonic screaming banshees.