As the weather warms and plenty of New Yorkers are driven to the brink of insanity by the incessant, nursery school-worthy jingles blaring from slow-going ice cream trucks, take solace in the news that several new ice cream carts—all w/o loudspeakers—will debut this weekend. These quiet heroes are our greatest hope for winning the jingle wars, and when all is scooped and done, the weasel will be popped once and for all and the turkey in the straw will stay that way— FOREVER.

Starting this weekend, legally embattled Champagne Kiss bandit Jacques Torres will start cheerfully selling 12-15 flavors, plus 4 sorbets, outside his Hudson Street location. Rumor has it the man's gone and got himself a soft-serve machine, too. In Brooklyn, The General Greene will debut a custom cart with 5 flavors, and it's a good bet they'll be Nick Morgenstern's whipped, "Philadelphia-style" ice creams, which means they're not made with a custard base like most other product. Meanwhile, Blue Marble Ice Cream will continue to ride their ice cream trike (with a rear freezer attachment) down Atlantic Avenue to the Brooklyn Flea for the summer. They may eventually sell at the DUMBO Flea and vend in Prospect Park.

Elsewhere, Otto is expected to once again park their cart (featuring Meredith Kurtzman's gelatos) on the Northwest corner of Washington Square Park sometime soon. In the meantime, torture your friends with these mp3 of all the ice cream truck music you ever wanted (custom ringtones!), courtesy WFMU, and if ice cream just isn't your thing, now is the time to indulge all of your crossing-guard-dressed-like-a-cupcake fantasies and consider checking the just launched Cupcake Stop, who'll be having a movable cupcake preview this Friday night.