It sometimes feels like the subtle art of the random bar hook-up has fallen by the wayside in the Age of Tinder, which is pretty much just a bar on the Internet without the fun and the booze. Still, there are plenty of places where you can meet and bed a stranger, and though some stalwarts have left us over the years (RIP Tandem & Wreck Room) hook-up bars do lurk among us. Here are our favorites in the city, and note that no, it is not a coincidence that most of these are in Murray Hill, the East Village, or Williamsburg, now the Murray Hill of Brooklyn. May the L train have mercy on our souls.

3812drink.jpg
Union Pool (via)

UNION POOL: No matter how much Williamsburg has changed over the last decade, it's nice to see some things stay the same—Union Pool is still the number one hook-up bar in Brooklyn, a title it's held at least since 2008. It's hard to know exactly what makes this place such a draw for singles—is it the taco truck? The heat lamps on the outdoor patio? The long lines for the private bathrooms that everyone's having coked-up sex inside? The ghosts of the koi ponds? Whatever the aphrodisiac, a night out here is guaranteed to get weird, like a strange man biting you on the face weird, and if you will it, you will get laid. Bring some friends, for there is safety in numbers here.

Union Pool is located at 484 Union Avenue at Skillman Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-609-0484, union-pool.com).

011316_home.jpg
Via Yelp

HOME SWEET HOME: Home Sweet Home was the first (legal) drinking hole I went to in New York City, way back in the halcyon days of 2010, and it made me really confused about what a person does at a bar. Indeed it was a hook-up spot then, and it's a hook-up spot now, with DJs playing sexy soul music and New Order to a dance floor packed hip-to-hip with gyrating humans as taxidermy animals watch from their respective wall perches. Just remember, if and when you do choose to fool around with an Italian stranger you meet during "Bizarre Love Triangle," that Delancey Street is in fact a very visible spot, and you will feel deep shame when you walk by it as a full-grown adult person.

Home Sweet Home is located at 131 Chrystie Street between Broome and Grand Streets on the Lower East Side (212-226-5709, homesweethomebar.com).

011316_13.jpg
via Yelp

THE 13TH STEP: If it's bros you seek, or the women who love them, this East Village nightmare is the place to go. It's important to note that The 13th Step is terrible, and that a night here will force you to spend time in a sea of 20-something finance folk, fraternity brothers, and recent college graduates, all of whom will scream in your ear and slosh Yuengling pitchers on your shoes. Still, there are $1 beers here on Tuesday nights and the crew is generally DTF, provided you don't mind suffering through someone's Pledge Week horror stories during pillow talk.

The 13th Step is located at 149 2nd Avenue between 9th and 10th Streets in the East Village (212-228-8020, nycbestbar.com/13thstep).

011316_freehold.jpg
via Yelp

FREEHOLD: Models flock to this swank multipurpose bar, restaurant, and work/playspace designed with the appearance and amenities of a hotel lobby in mind. Indeed, the spacious Williamsburg venue looks more like a European hostel than a bar, with lounge areas, TVs, and a game room for the young at heart. During the day, visitors will find both diners and laptoppers taking advantage of the free WiFi; at night, the communal vibe creates an ideal setting for mackin on strangers. During the rooftop months, head outside to the terrace to break the ice with cornhole and ping-pong. (Roxie Pell)

Freehold is located at 45 South 3rd Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-388-7591, freeholdbrooklyn.com).

011316_josh.jpg
via Yelp

JOSHUA TREE: Joshua Tree is just as awful as The 13th Step, but actually manages to outdo it in bro-scene points thanks to its location in dreaded Murray Hill. On any given night, nearly every bargoer will have graduated from college within the last year, which is good news if you're a) also a recent college grad or b) a cougar/Jack Nicholson. These youngins are all very skilled at taking shots and/or yelling loudly, every male wears either khakis or a suit, and ladies take up bar real estate by posing for skinny arm Instagram shots, as one does. If that's your scene and you're single, you're in luck, because this crew is looking for luuuuuuurve, provided that luuuuuuurve is of the one-night variety—plus they've got a pretty sweet '80s playlist running here, so even if you don't get lucky, you at least get to listen to some good tunes.

Joshua Tree is located at 513 3rd Avenue between 34th and 35th Streets in Murray Hill (212-689-0058, joshuatreebar.com).

011316_skinny.jpg
(Katie Sokoler / Gothamist)

SKINNY DENNIS: Though Skinny Dennis is (or should be) best known for originating the delectable Uncle Willie's Frozen Coffee Drink, this oft-crowded Williamsburg honky-tonk joint is also one of the best pick-up spots in Brooklyn. Though I'm convinced the frequent live bluegrass music is TOO LOUD, thereby making it nearly impossible to speak to other humans, perhaps that's how the juices get flowing here—less talking, more dancing. After a few frozen bourbon-spiked coffee drinks and bourbon ice teas, you and your paramour will be down to "get out of [t]here" and find a more private place to...connect.

Skinny Dennis is located at 152 Metropolitan Avenue at Berry Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (skinnydennisbar.com).

011316_niagara.jpg
via Yelp

NIAGARA: In a neighborhood whose nightlife has long since been overtaken by bankers, Niagara offers an intentionally dive-y oasis for those who prefer their bankers in a “bohemian atmosphere.” With strong drinks and pleasantly cheesy music, the Alphabet City standby is a solid spot to start your evening and a potentially sloppy place to end it. Niagara is owned by an invisible supergroup fronted by turnup gatekeeper Johnny T and musician Jesse Malin, whose professed nostalgia for Old New York unfortunately leaves no mark on the neon interior. For the thirsty, a dance floor at the back can be hit-or-miss depending on the vibe, but on weekends the main bar area is reliably packed. (Roxie Pell)

Niagara is located at 112 Avenue A at St. Marks Place in the East Village (212-420-9517, niagaranyc.com).

071815_rabbit.jpg
via Foursquare

BLACK RABBIT: It's easy enough to find a hook-up when you're a post-grad infant, but it's a little harder to find the right sexy folk when you're, say, 28 to 36. Enter Black Rabbit, a generally spectacular drinking hole that happens to be a great pick-up spot for adults. First and foremost, the bar's $3 house draft beer serves as a stellar lubricant when it comes to making eyes at Greenpoint's attractive ladies and gents; between the bar's lovely backyard and its intimate, wood-paneled booths, it's pretty easy to pick up a partner for the night (or forever!).

Black Rabbit is located at 91 Greenpoint Avenue between Franklin Street and Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint, Brooklyn (718-349-1595, blackrabbitnyc.com).

011316_turtle.jpg
via Yelp

TURTLE BAY: If Westchester bros fresh off Metro-North sound like your kind of company, make haste to Turtle Bay, the bar that screams “Midtown!” all the way to Grand Central. In case there was any doubt about ol’ TB’s wingmanning potential, patrons are greeted by a sign that reads “Number One Hookup Bar in NYC” upon entering. It’s that kind of straightforward peacocking that will win over the turtle man or lady of your dreams, so grab a crisp brewski and let your Vineyard Vines do the talking.

On a weekend night, the 2-floor saloon is packed with youths just getting their start in the Big Apple. Upstairs, a DJ spins slick 30-second samples of Top 40 hits to a dance floor underpopulated by self-conscious bump-n-grinders. Chalk your old student ID to access the $20 open bar on Thursday’s College Night; if you’ve aged out (you have), Saturday’s “Pregame Special” extends the same sweet deal to wistful post-grads from 8-11 pm. (Roxie Pell)

Turtle Bay is located at 987 2nd Avenue between 52nd and 53rd Streets in Midtown East (212-223-4224, turtlebaynyc.com).

011316_levee.jpg
via Yelp

THE LEVEE: Once upon a time, The Levee and Zebulon (RIP) were the bars I wandered into after a show at, say, Monster Island, or DBA, or 285 Kent (RIP to the lot of you). Now, the Levee's just a good place to take a whiskey shot and make out with a hipster, activities preferably punctuated with handfuls of free cheese balls (faux cheese breath is sexy, right?) Hot dudes aside, the Levee's got Big Buck Hunter, a dirty unisex bathroom (hello) and the aforementioned cheese balls, so there's plenty to enjoy even if you're not getting laid.

The Levee is located at 212 Berry Street at North 3rd Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-218-8787, theleveenyc.com).