Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a pseudo-"celebrity" chef's friendship for a day—if you're a hedge-fund billionaire with a lust for donkey sauce, that is. In his-soon-to-be-released memoir From Scratch: Inside The Food Network journalist Allen Salkin reveals that Steve Cohen paid the Mayor of Flavortown to "reenact a fantasy episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives," according to Page Six. The price for this most dudetacular outing? A cool $100,000.

A rep for Cohen claims the story "is false," but admits the duo do know each other, a fact confirmed by an episode of the spiky-haired host's show:

Alex (Cohen's wife) and Steve are alluded to in the episode, which sees his broness eating chili dogs from Super Duper Weenie in Fairfield, CT, where the couple lives.

It's comforting to know the billionaire—whose hedge fund SAC Capital will settle a billion dollar insider trading suit this week—will have support from loyal friend$ during these trying times. And with Fieri's successful Times Square salt emporium and newly crowned heart attack trigger, it looks like Cohen made a very wise friendship investment indeed.