Aside from a brief cameo in 1985's Teen Wolf, the Moon's personal brand has suffered tremendously since the late 1960s. Any millennial expert will tell you that your career can't survive long on the fumes of tidal constituency or the tours of aging rock stars. So we were pleased to learn that our favorite celestial body has decided to enter an exciting partnership with Corona.
This Friday and Saturday nights, the 4.5 billion-year-old waxing satellite will act as a "lime" for a bottle of Corona on a billboard at the intersection of Ninth Avenue and 15th Street.
Corona "worked with top universities and planetariums"
to better understand the contributing factors to alcoholism and how they can be mitigated to make sure that every angle was just perfect, so the pointy, lunar sliver would embed a familiar, yet unique image into your brain.
"I am looking forward to proving that 'Coronas' aren't just wreaths of plasma concurrent with eclipses," the Moon said, through its publicist. "In five billion years I will look fondly upon this experiment, but you will all be dead."