This week, Sailor Jerry sent us over the above photo of their Spiced Rum Bloody Mary (called a Bloody Jerry). As you can see, the cocktail is topped with a waffle fry, a pickle, a slider, and a piece of pepperoni pizza—one of these (the pickle, you guys) is acceptable, the other items belong on a school cafeteria tray. Their recipe ended with these words: "Garnish with whatever the hell you want." No. Do not do that.

Like the lobster roll, the Bloody Mary is best dressed with as few items as possible. The drink at its purist form is already complex enough—you've got your vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire or horseradish sauce, tabasco, celery, lemon, and maybe one other thing you like. An olive? Sure. Add an olive.

The Bloody Mary has become a prop cocktail these days, however, a way to get attention—"Look at us, we put an entire animal on top of our Bloody Mary—please RT!" So, please:

DON'T put an entire fried chicken on top of your Bloody Mary.

DON'T put a cheeseburger on top of your Bloody Mary

DON'T... okay now you're just trolling

What would Henry Zbikiewicz say about this? He's one of the bartenders credited with possibly creating the drink, back in the 1930s at the 21 Club. The 21 Club would never, ever, even today serve a Bloody Mary with a goddamn fried chicken bacon cheeseburger slider on top of it. Even comedian George Jessel, another man credited with creating the cocktail, would not find that funny. A rubber chicken? Maybe.

The drink may have started out simply as tomato juice and vodka, according to one tale, but in the 1940s an advertisement that ran in Life Magazine for French's worcestershire sauce suggested adding that to the mix, and so the cocktail became a blank canvas for the food industry—be it a sauce, or a restaurant wanting to Go Viral with their crazy creation.