There is only one wine that pairs well with Fast Food, and that's the kind that comes in a box and burns a little on the way down... or is it? Zagat, following their Fast Food survey, has now attempted the impossible: pairing up Whoppers and whatnot with real wine. They got sommelier Clare Shaheen, of New York’s TriBeCa Grill, to give recommendations—all of her tasting notes and pairings can be found here, but here's a sample.

Shaheen describes the now famous KFC Double Down as too salty, and her first instinct is to down some water. But that won't get you drunk enough to not regret your decision! So vino-wise she thinks that a "sparkling Scheurebe, which is a German varietal with a little residual sugar" would pair up to the fried chicken sandwich just fine. She adds that "it would cut through the bacon and the cheese. It would help settle the sandwich down a little. It really needs settling down."

This all seems like a very bad idea. We suggest only indulging your Fast Food cravings on hangover days caused by wine. At least until Valentine's Day when you take your special lady to White Castle.