Here's a nice volunteer job for the kids: The SLA sent a fleet of "volunteer minors" into liquor stores around the city as part of a week-long sting operation, ultimately resulting in the bust of 76 businesses around the five boroughs.

The investigation—which canvassed 250 businesses, the largest in the agency's history—was conducted between October 3rd and 11th, and resulted in the bust of 30 percent of grocery and liquor stores searched.

The busted businesses face penalties up to $10,000 per violation, with fines up to $3,000 for the first offense, Crain's reports. Though the rate is significantly lower than it has been in years passed, James Calvin, president of the New York Association of Convenience Stores, is not pleased.

"A 30% failure rate is way, way too high," Calvin told the site. "Occasionally in the store setting, even a trained and conscientious cashier will make a mistake and sell beer to a minor. But 30% failure indicates there's some stores out there that are being outright reckless or careless in who they're selling alcohol to. And that's unacceptable."

It's a well-documented fact that the SLA specifically recruits 7-foot-tall, fully-bearded 19-year-old linebackers for these operations. Is it only a matter of time before they start genetically engineering giant, hair-covered toddlers to foil unassuming cashiers? When that day comes, underage drinking will be the least of our concerns.