Call your Bubbe, because the energy drink market is apparently going after a new market: senior citizens. Yes, that's right—now that teenagers aren't allowed near the good stuff, manufacturers are turning their attention towards with a more...refined palate, shall we say.

According to the Values Institute at DGWB, the energy drink market will "slowly wake up to the fact that it has been neglecting an even bigger consumer market in the over-60, retired crowd and become increasingly popular among seniors" in 2012. They point to 5-Hour Energy, the miniature bottles sold in gas stations that answer the question, "How would just a little bit of meth make me feel?", hiring Cheers star John Ratzenberger as a spokesman as proof that the energetic-senior apocalypse is upon us.

Noted energy drink opponent Senator Schumer has yet to release a statement about the issue, presumably because he's too busy racing joyously around the city with a newfound, chemically-enhanced lust of life.