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Presenting The "Top" 5 Holiday Themed Junk Food Abominations

<br/><br/><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gingerbread-Flavored-Marshmallow-Peeps-Men/dp/B009MA7OSK/ref=sr_1_188?s=grocery&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1352916587&amp;sr=1-188&amp;keywords=christmas+candy">Gingerbread Men</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Chocolate-Mousse-Marshmallow-Reindeer-Peeps/dp/B002QG86NO/ref=sr_1_41?s=grocery&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1352916330&amp;sr=1-41&amp;keywords=christmas+candy">Reindeer Chocolate Mousse</a> Peeps:</strong> Let's be honest, Peeps are the filler candy of the Easter Basket. It's bad enough we have to deal with these saccharine monstrosities for most of Spring, but now they're coming to invade our Christmas stockings, too? Quite frankly those Gingerbread men look like some creepy Hansel &amp; Gretel nightmare just waiting for you to fall asleep so they can take a butcher knife to your throat then ride away on their satanic chocolate marshmellow reindeer. Horrifying.


<br/><br/><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Candy-Peppermint-Holiday-Limited-Edition/dp/B009WQ4QBC/ref=sr_1_179?s=grocery&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1352916587&amp;sr=1-179&amp;keywords=christmas+candy">Candy Cane</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gingerbread-Flavor-Creme-Limited-Edition/dp/B009V0KX1Q/ref=sr_1_130?s=grocery&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1352916534&amp;sr=1-130&amp;keywords=christmas+candy">Gingerbread</a> Oreos:</strong> Oreo already grossed-out the world when they combined candy corn—the most reviled seasonal candy save for Peeps—with their classic cookie, so why should the holiday season be any different? The flavor combinations aren't that yucky, to be sure, but the transparency of this marketing gimmick makes us roll our eyes with disgust anyway. Just eat a regular Oreo and be done with it.


<br/><br/><strong>Cinnamon &amp; Sugar, Pumpkin Pie Spice and White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles:</strong> No, come on! Just no. We're not saying that salty and sweet combos aren't delicious—salted caramel, chocolate covered bacon, apple pie and cheddar cheese, we could go on—but seriously unless Pringles completely changed their potato chip recipe this just can't be good. Especially the white chocolate peppermint. It would be like eating a delicious baked potato smothered in butter and then squirting Hershey's syrup and crumbled Altoids on top. Ugh.



<br/><br/><strong><a href="http://www.baskinrobbins.com/content/baskinrobbins/en/products/cake/cakegallery.html?popupurl=/content/baskinrobbins/en/products/cake/cakegallery/TurkeyCake.html">Baskin-Robbins Turkey Cake</a>:</strong> Have any vegetarians you want to horrify? Why not "wow" them with a turkey-shaped cake as a centerpiece at your "dessert table." It's got everything you want in a holiday dessert: Customized ice cream selection! A sweet topping glazing! Sugar cone turkey legs! A mouthful of shame with every bite! We've <a href="http://gothamist.com/2012/10/01/baskin-robbins_releases_seasonal_sp.php">seen this kind of treachery from Baskin-Robbins before</a>, but this really <em>takes the cake</em> as most bizarre, mass-marketed holiday stunt. It also comes in a "Drumstick Only" option, in case you want that more flavorful dark meat.


<br/><br/><strong>Target Holiday Milk Red Velvet Chocolate:</strong> For reasons beyond comprehension, red velvet has remained a trendy dessert flavor among chains over the past decade. It's a "fancy" way of getting people to pay extra money for what is, essentially, chocolate cake with red food dye. So here comes Target with a line of "Holiday Milks" and, lo and behold, a Red Velvet Chocolate offering joins Egg Nog and Chocolate Mint to help pad your holiday calorie count. The milk itself is more viscous than regular milk and an unsettling shade of pink we like to call "Pepto Bismol: Dark." Need an increased sense of self loathing? This milk might just be for you!

(Emmalouise B./Yelp)