Squirrels do people things like attend Columbia and eat pizza, but apparently they couldn't care less about what the New York Times' dining critic Pete Wells thinks. Specifically his take on the chain's "pretty awful" crinkle-cut fries.

Redditor darkgroove claims he was "robbed" by this fat squirrel yesterday at what appears to be the Madison Square Shake Shack. Look for the Health Department's new ad campaign featuring the phrases "Too Fat To Frolic" and "Stash Acorns, Not Arby's."