There are shoplifters and then there are shoplifters. And man, if the charges against them are true, Krystal Douglas, 26, and Charles Simboyan, 68, are definitely in the latter camp. Because stealing from a Staten Island Costco by stuffing panties and prawns (among other items) up one's skirt? That takes some meatballs.

According to authorities the pair, along with a possible third woman still at large, started hitting up the Costco in New Springville about two weeks ago. But the store figured out something was wrong when about $5,000 in polo shirts suddenly went missing.

They reviewed video footage, and saw on several occasions a man with a cowboy hat - Simboyan, it turned out - and a woman loading up a shopping cart and rolling it to the produce section, the source said. By the time they left the store, though, the shopping cart would be empty.

On Monday, Simboyan and Ms. Douglas returned, and the store was ready for them, authorities said. Security watched them on video, and when Ms. Douglas started walking oddly in the parking lot, they approached her, the source said.
Simboyan claimed Ms. Douglas had a bad knee, the source said, but security didn't buy that excuse.

So a female employee accompanied her to a ladies' room in the store, and she produced boxers, panties and prawns, court papers allege.

Police later were able to identify Simboyan in the store on six separate occasions, each time with a woman—either Douglas or another lady. After being presented with the evidence, Simboyan reportedly admitted to stealing "chicken legs, steak, pork chops, shrimp, prawns, DVDs, women's clothing and polo shirts" from the store! Both now face varying counts of petit larceny and fifth-degree criminal possession of stolen property.

We dunno though, maybe they were just trying to make an affordable prawn xylophone?