President Obama sat down with the Forward on Friday to discuss the Iran deal and how it's been received by the Jewish community. The whole transcript is available online and it's an interesting read. But the biggest revelation, for the purposes of this blog, is that Obama found the closure of H&H Bagels, the bagel shop to end all bagel shops, "shocking." And yet, somehow he has not utilized his Presidential War Powers to evict the Verizon Store and re-instate H&H. Who among us will step up to Make America['s Bagels] Great Again?
Journalist Jane Eisner closed out her interview with the president by asking him about his favorite bagel flavor, after grilling him on his relationship with the Israeli government, anti-Iran deal elected officials like Chuck Schumer, and whether the deal will eventually allow Iranians to bolster their nuclear program. Turns out POTUS is a fan of poppy seed bagels (OBAMA LOVES DRUGS), his favorite of which came from one now-shuttered Upper West Side bagel shop, which he used to walk from Columbia University back when he was a student:
THE PRESIDENT: So the poppy seed bagels at H&H Bagels — which somebody told me they closed —
BEN RHODES: They closed.
Q: It’s closed, yes.
THE PRESIDENT: Which is shocking.
ISN'T IT SHOCKING.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, MR. PRESIDENT?
H&H shuttered in the midst of Obama's first term, having survived—nay, thrived—during the administrations of Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, and both Bushes. Obama may have expanded healthcare coverage, pulled our economy out of the literal gutter, strengthened diplomatic relations, and stood his ground against Zach Galifianakis, but he was unable to save the city's best bagelry, and for that he should always be remembered. Kanye, take note—you would do well to make this the cornerstone of your upcoming presidential campaign.
Obama did not address the loss of the UWS Urban Outfitters, which remains the worst casualty of his administration.