Based on today's "Sex On Tap" story, it seems someone at the NY Post is trying to shop a romantic comedy about a group of busybody waiters who are more likely to hook up their down-on-their-luck patrons with one another than spit in their food. Laughter, romance and silent judgement ensue! It's Amelie meets Waiting! Either that, or the Post thinks that complimenting waiters for being menschs is going to get them better service at Almond and Madam Geneva.

Basically, the Post posits that waiters at select upper crust French bistros and red sauce joints are uniquely positioned to help make your dating experience end with a late night rendezvous. Sometimes that involves making their pushy, irritating customers look better than they are (“And of course, we’re happy to treat him that way, so he looks good in front of his dates.”), and sometimes it involves prying into the dating habits of serial daters who are regulars (“He has been bringing three new dates here each week for three years — never the same girl twice.”).

Yes, according to the Post, these waiters are "human behavioral specialists" who can observe incredible, here-to-fore unnoticed details that point to whether someone isn't having a good time. “When the check arrives, if a guy asks his date to split it, you know he isn’t interested,” said Antonio Rappazzo, general manager at Almond. “I have seen a woman walk out on a date at that point because she was so insulted. The guy didn’t seem too bothered though — he simply ordered another drink.”

And then there was the time Olivier Flosse, the wine director at Midtown Italian restaurant A Voce Madison, had serendipitously sat two regulars whose dates had stood them both up next to each other. “I was surprised when I didn’t see or hear from either of them for three weeks,” admits Flosse. Next he saw them, they were a couple. Two years later, they were married with Flosse in attendance. “They say they got together because of me; I say it was because of the wine,” he said. “But they’ve even named their baby daughter, Olivia, after me.”