Finally, a chance to play a video game and order unhealthy fast food at the same time! See, when it isn't co-opting the word "artisan" beyond recognition and putting out temporary Facebook games meant to briefly induce '80s nostalgia it seems the Domino's chain is dabbling in iPad game development. Finally, a chance to revisit our lost youth working at a fast food restaurant—and without having to bother getting a work permit! And yes, the free game will let you order yourself a pie of your own creation. Sigh.

If you've ever played a modern restaurant/cooking video game, the gist of Domino's Pizza Hero will be instantly familiar. The player's job is to rise through the pizza making ranks by digitally making pizzas with their index finger on the tablet's glass screen. All that finger movement make you hungry? You can always click the "make an order" button and, you guessed it, make an order using the game's interface. You know, in case you've always wanted to work for Domino's...for free.

Sheesh, Domino's, we get it—you want to be hip with the cool kids and their shiny toys! But maybe, considering you are a giant food franchise, you want to put a little less focus on the games and a little more on making your pizza taste less like cardboard? Because with or without an "artisanal" label, industrial pies just don't cut it here in the land of pizza wars. If you really want to compete in neighborhoods like Carroll Gardens, you better tell that Noid to carry a knife and keep his mouth shut.