In the annals of What Could Go Wrong?, there will be entries for daring culinary pursuits, questionable police tactics and badly thought out hookup plans. And then there will be a chapter for the Nipyata, a novelty party item that stuffs cardboard donkey piñatas with tiny bottles of booze instead of candy. Blindfolded, dizzy drunks swinging a beating stick in a crowd of people...what could go wrong?
In the name of journalism, the company sent one of their piñatas to Gothamist HQ for a test run, which took place several cocktails in on a Friday evening at the office. Shots of tequila were lined up—suggested, but not mandatory—and the games began. It should be noted that, outside of children's birthday parties at age eight, nobody was quite sure how to play the game of "piñata." Along with the buster stick and eye mask, we'd suggest the company include some instructions on the rules of the Nipyata.
Nevertheless, the beast was strung up on a sprinkler pipe—off to a good start!—where it was summarily beaten until it was beheaded, spilling its drunken guts onto the floor. Bottles of schnapps, fruity vodka and even a lone Fireball were quickly snatched up, along with perplexing "fortunes" that could sound vaguely threatening read in the wrong light. "You will have an adventure in a car" and "David Hasselhoff drank his first nip at age 11." Too soon, Nipyata, too soon.
The experience awards about 10 minutes of fun, depending on the competency of the group—and whoever's in charge of lifting the beast out of harm's way. A "Stay Classic Burrito" Nipyata ($35) can be purchased sans nips—the company also sells baby bottles between $1.80 and $3.25 depending on the brand—or pre-stocked with booze in a variety of shapes (buster stick and eye mask sold separately). Not a terrible price in exchange for shaming Vines posted to social media. Hey—Cinco de Mayo is coming, after all.