There are those crimes that induce shivers across our whole city—and then there are the crimes which...are not that. Just ask 32-year-old Mikal Bell, who was arrested last week for attempting to steal $30 worth of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups from a candy store in the Village. But what was he going to do? No one wants to have to strut down the street dipping a chocolate bar into a comically giant jar of peanut butter.

According to the Villager, Bell was arrested on September 20th for attempted petty larceny. Unfortunately for Bell, while attempting to steal Reese's Peanut Butter Cups might usually only warrant a slap on the doggone wrist (see commercial below), police discovered that Bell also had a woman's stolen wallet in his possession, and he had used her credit card and spent more than $350 at a store on W. 14th Street. Why he didn't think to make a bulk purchase online, we'll never know. Bell should take some comfort knowing that he already has some sympathetic followers who think his crime was pretty sweet.