In a move that will surely disappoint the loud bearded guy smacking his lips after every sip of his $9 Makers & ginger, the manufacturers of the premium whisky ("Unlike most American liquor companies, Maker's spells it WITHOUT the 'e' at the end," obnoxious drunk guy adds) have begun diluting their product so they can meet high demand. “Fact is, demand for our bourbon is exceeding our ability to make it, which means we’re running very low on supply," Maker's Mark execs wrote in an email to clients. The email, obtained by the Post, says that instead of 90 proof (or 45% ABV) the liquor will go down to 84 proof.
The executives added that they reviewed "all possible solutions" to the problem and "worked carefully" to reduce the alcohol content. Indeed, this solution was the best, considering that the alternative was to imperceptibly shrink the bottle size every year so that by 2055 people would purchase invisible bottles of Maker's Mark and become angry and defensive at the suggestion that their liquor was actually an illusion.
Maker's Mark has been around since 1959 and is a top-shelf product in part thanks to some wax and clever marketing, but one Brooklyn bartender interviewed by the tabloid seemed dismayed that the subsidiary of a corporation worth billions of dollars would slightly compromise their product to maintain profit. "I don't think the proof really matters [for a drink to be enjoyable]. But when that's your reason for doing it, I just think that's a cheap business practice," the bartender said. To prevent further dilution, cough up that extra $2.