Anytime a friend tells you they spent their night partying at Lit Lounge in the East Village, you know what it means. (Dancing, sweating, blow in the bathroom. Repeat.) Anytime a friend tells you they're moving into/visiting McKibbin lofts in Bushwick, you know what it means. (Parentally-subsidized rent, blow in the bathroom. Avant-garde sweating.) And now, these disparate locales are finally merging into one awesome hydra, and it will serve...coffee. And pastries? What in hell is going on around here?

According to Bedford + Bowery, the owners of Lit are getting together with Trash Bar owner Aaron Pierce and Rafik Video owner Mindy Wyatt to create a terrifying new restaurant-club hybrid at 248 McKibbin, meaning we must all steel ourselves against the inevitable flood of "want-to-come-check-out-my-art, oh-I-live-upstairs" pick up lines that will assault all who enter the bi-level venue.

The coffee-and-pastry portion of the space, to be called Currant Cafe, will be safely contained upstairs—you can crawl there after a night of raging in the downstairs club, a "raw basement" that will boast 17-foot-tall ceilings and regularly host "DJs and parties." If using a freshly baked croissant to blot the blood streaming from your coke-ravaged septum isn't the very definition of the New Bushwick, nothing is. There will also be a platform for go go dancers.

Currant Cafe is slated to open on March 16; the club will follow sometime in September. Bring condoms.