We've been told to quit smoking. We've been told to stop eating salt. We've been barred from enjoying trans fats and reminded that soda equals fat. But New Yorkers will be damned if we can't drink enough caffeine-infused alcohol to make ourselves black out and wake up naked somewhere on Orchard Street. Unless it's illegal, which it apparently is.

Restaurateur Eddie Huang was planning a $15 all-you-can-drink Four Loko cocktail (that's right, cocktail. It would have been mixed with Hennessy) special on Thursday night at Xiao Ye, but was forced to cancel it because the state forbids all-you-can-drink offers. The law "prohibits from selling, serving, delivering or offering to patrons an unlimited number of drinks during any set period of time for a fixed price," and Huang told the Daily News, "This is horrible. I was excited about this. Now I gotta figure out how to give people enough Four Loko so they can get their blackout. People like to black out." And somehow just chugging the Hennessy won't get the job done.

Huang planned the event after learning the State Liquor Authority was considering banning the drink and all other caffeinated alcohol drinks. However, the law does "allow 2 for 1, half price and other such specials where the price of a drink is not lower than one-half of the premise's normal or regular price for the same drink." So that means he could offer Four Loko at something like $3 for two cans. Or perhaps just a "one fewer than all-you-can-drink for $15" would do the trick.