Krispy Kreme, the doughnut chain we've long suspected laces their sugar-glazed pastries with crack, is attempting to destroy the deliciously caloric foundation they've built their empire upon by adding "healthy" items like oatmeal, yogurt and fruit juice to their menu. Because that plan went over so well at McDonald's, too.

Kreme CEO James Morgan wants to add the aforementioned breakfast options, plus specialty coffees and espresso drinks over the next 18 months. The move is an attempt to keep the company's slow road to recovery running smoothly—they're finally posting profits again after "imploding" in an accounting scandal and a series of bad management moves a few years back. Morgan's other moves have included opening more Kremes overseas and closing the chain's "factory" shops, where customers could watch the precious glazed gutbombs being freshly made (!).

But sugarhounds need not abandon all hope—(so far) Kreme's not killing any of the current doughnut offerings, and they've even been testing doughnut milkshakes at a few stores. And they will still sponsor the annual Krispy Kreme Challenge, in which finely tuned athletes run two miles, Hoover a dozen donuts, and then run two more. Start training now.