Faced with the prospect of another year in the shadow of White Castle, with their erotic scented candles and sexy Valentine's Day reservations, KFC finally stepped up to the big leagues with the most romantic of big gestures: fried chicken prom corsages. "Looking for a corsage that will make your date’s eyes light up and her mouth water?" Kentucky floral shop Nanz & Kraft write. "This KFC drumstick corsage is the Secret Recipe to making sure this year’s dance will be one you both remember." Especially when it is exhibit A in a class action lawsuit against KFC about the marketing of fatty foods and its deleterious effects upon children.
The KFC Chicken Corsage costs $20 each, and contains a $5 gift card so you can customize your corsage with Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, or Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Just so it's clear: they send you the corsage, and then you take the gift card and buy a piece of chicken from your local KFC. They don't actually ship you the corsage with the chicken. They aren't barbarians.
Of course, you don't even need to be going to prom to get one of these babies—you could just be someone who wants a way of gnawing on processed chicken scraps without having to get grease all over your fingers. And it's completely reusable! If so, make sure you order soon—there are 100 available, and as of yesterday, at least 20 had been ordered. Ernie Anastos would definitely be in favor of this product.