Smell ya later, Avocado Toast. (Shutterstock)

International Food & Restaurant Consultants, Baum + Whiteman, have sent out their 2015 trend report, which tells us all what we'll be eating next year.

What, you think this has nothing to do with you? You go to your refrigerator and you select... I don't know... that lumpy blue cheese, for instance... But what you don't know is that that cheese was filtered down from high end restaurants and then through farmer's markets and then it trickled on down into some tragic grocery store clearance bin, where you, no doubt, fished it out. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs, and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the food and restaurant industry when, in fact, you're eating a cheese that was selected for you, by the people behind this memo.

Got it? Okay, let's get down to business. Next year we're all going to be over: kale, sriracha, salsa, sweet yogurts, artisan toast ("put an end to this pestilence"), bacon (FINALLY), and beer. Instead, we're all going to be into: "ugly root vegetables," like celery root, parsnips and kohlrabi. B+W notes that we will enjoy these fried, mashed, pureed, and gratineed, adding, "Better yet, consumers have no notion of how to cook them... so they're becoming cheffy ingredients."

What else? "We've rediscovered oysters," they say, and they're replacing bowls of pretzels at the bar. And apparently hummus is the next Greek yogurt.

"Now hummus, once a niche product here eaten primarily by Arab and Israeli immigrants, is following the same trajectory. Google says that hummus has out-trended salsa, no small thing since salsa dethroned ketchup. The chick pea dip has become so Americanized, which means piled with flavorings, that Subway is testing it as a no-meat option for its sandwiches."

Peak Hummus. Got it.

They blame the hybrid food craze on millennials, who have restless palate syndrome and will probably be eating Japanese snack foods and downing Salt & Fruit beverages next year.

What are we drinking next year, though? Sharable punches. We also don't care for vodka anymore, fyi, it's all about whiskey. Give us more whiskey. We also want that whiskey in our coffee shops, apparently—"coffee shops will rethink their business models" next year, the press release states, "they've got to fill in downtimes, meaning most of the day. They can't rely on 'cinos, forty variations of pumpkin spices and soy milk lattes."

There's also something in here about "competition getting fierce" in the world of juice. We're gonna skip over that part.

They've also made this helpful list of 2015 buzzwords, so you don't embarrass yourselves while ordering or purchasing groceries. Here's what IN:

  • Pistachios
  • Pimm's Cup
  • Shaved ice desserts
  • Flavored salts
  • Fermented food
  • Savory ice creams and yogurts
  • Insect protein bars
  • Plant-based proteins
  • Protein in general
  • Seaweed
  • Savory waffles and waffle sandwiches
  • Matcha