Having visited California upwards of two times in my life [three], and having become a certified expert in all things Los Angeles in recent years [never been], I can assuredly state as fact that L.A. is incapable of producing good pizza. It's already the Mexican food capital of the United States, what more do you people want?! But now, the folks over at JetBlue have decided to launch a humanitarian effort to bring aid to the pizza-starved region.

From May 9th to 11th, JetBlue is planning on delivering authentic-o NYC pizza from JFK right to LAX. They'll be delivering 350 pies each day, all from East Harlem's Patsy's Pizzeria, at a cost of $12 for a cheese pie and $15 for a pepperoni pie. According to the fine print, Angelinos can start ordering the pizza as of midnight on May 9th, and it'll be delivered right to their door.

You might be wondering whether the five hour+ journey inside a hermetically-sealed plane might take something away from the flavor and quality of the pizza. But JetBlue promises it will be hot when it arrives at your door: "The quality and safety of the pizza is of the utmost importance. A designated pizzaiolo (a specially trained pizza chef) has overseen the logistics of the pizza’s journey to ensure quality is maintained throughout the process. The process by which the pizza is being prepped and transported for its journey ensures that it will not only be safe, but also delicious!"

Sure, there are ways of delivering food that don't involve insanely increasing carbon emissions at this most pivotal juncture, but have you tried Patsy's Stuffed Crust Anthropocene pie? Sorry polar bears and future grandchildren, it's worth it.

This isn't the first attempt at importing pizza to the west coast: Roberta's had a pop-up in L.A. for two months at the end of 2016. But this limited edition marketing ploy could open up major doors to the cross-country pizza travel industry. And if it works, it's just a matter of time until some enterprising airline country convinces In-N-Out to come to NYC.

In the meantime, let's not think too hard about the possibility of the TSA messing with the pies and focus on Spike Lee's instructional video for people who have never seen a real pizza slice in the flesh before: