The country is coming apart at the seams. Corporations control the institutions that people rely on. Low wage workers are getting screwed. Unemployment is affecting every facet of life. Americans cry out for a leader to step out of the shadows and right the ship of Democracy.

And now that hero has come forward—and children's birthday parties will never be the same again.

After what we can only imagine was a years-long investigation (I mean, it definitely was at least 5 months long), Inside Edition has broken open the Chuck E. Cheese scandal that has threatened to derail the nation.

"After multiple reports of violence among adults at Chuck E. Cheese's over the last few years, it may come as a surprise that the restaurant chain serves alcohol to parents as their kids enjoy the play areas," they report. Oh, you do NOT have to tell us, Inside Edition.

It seems that there is a two drink maximum per customer at the chain. But what Inside Edition learned is that inside every mascot lurks the twisted soul of a booze bandit trying to push hard alcohol onto unsuspecting parents: "Despite the policy, an Inside Edition producer had no trouble ordering four glasses of wine at a Chuck E. Cheese’s on New York’s Long Island."

But wait, it gets worse. Because Inside Edition Chief Investigative Correspondent Lisa Guerrero attended a child's birthday party at a separate location about 20 miles away—and you'll never guess what happened next.

She was informed of the two-drink policy after ordering a couple of beers.

However, a server informed Guerrero that if she provided someone else’s ID, she would be able to order two more drinks with no problem.

"So as long as somebody else gives you their ID, then you can still order more?" Guerrero confirmed.

"Yes," the server responded.

Just like my mama used to say, you can't spell "Chuck" without cuck.

After IE ratted out the employee, Chuck E Cheese's Entertainment told them they take their alcohol policy very seriously and, "after a full investigation, we determined that employees failed to follow our alcohol service procedure. As a result, their employment has been terminated."

Hopefully now that one poor server has been fired from a single Chuck E. Cheese location in the NYC-region, our great nation can begin to heal itself again.