If we learned anything from Cynthia Nixon's Bagelgate incident and the Apple bagel emoji fiasco, it is that New Yorkers have passionate opinions about bagels—how you order them, what you put on them, how you ingest them, where you get them, if you toast them, etc. Nothing is more shocking to a New Yorker than a local who has never tried a bagel. And as we learned today, Ice-T is just such a person.

Ice-T was in the midst of a Twitter Q&A today when someone asked him what his favorite bagel was and this horrifying information slipped out. In case you don't know—and you should know, and now you definitely will know, and then you can't say you didn't know anymore—Ice-T is an expert-level Twitter user. I can assure you his pinned tweet is better than anything you've ever tweeted: "This Twitter page is my personal Chatroom. I alone am the Moderator. Continue......" So we're not dealing with a Mike Huckabee here: Ice-T is an advanced Twitter user. He knew what he was wading into.

But sadly, it was too late: people did indeed lose their minds. And they also lost their manners apparently:

And then Ice-T took it one step further with another jaw-dropping revelation...

Holy shit, what's next? Ice-T is gonna tell us he's never tried iced tea?! Is there anything that Ice-T does like?

What if Ice-T has been drinking coffee and eating bagels all along, but he just thinks they're called something else? "Ohhh, were you guys talking about breadholes? I love a breadhole covered in cream dressing with my black juice every morning." Maybe that's it...

Look, I'm not new. I know how it is to give, or not give, a fuck. I'm not ashamed to say I've stumbled upon a Sunday afternoon marathon of Ice Loves Coco and rode out the day on the couch shouting encouragement at Spartacus (RIP). And SVU once filmed in my building, and I brushed past Ice-T while walking my dog, so clearly I get it.

Assuming Ice-T isn't trolling everyone, I hereby publicly invite him to come down to our offices and experience the delightful combo that is bagel and coffee. I will dedicate as much time out of my work and personal schedule toward making this happen as is necessary. We can try a plain bagel with butter, or an everything bagel with lox and cream cheese. What matters most is introducing a NYC icon to the single most iconic NYC food.

And if he's really lucky, maybe I'll make him pizza bagels too.