Perfectly bearded men are wearing flannels and/or cable knit cardigans, ladies are donning autumn hues, you've planned an apple picking adventure with your boyfriend... it's officially Pumpkin Spice Season, pumpkinf*ckers. And no store does it better than Trader Joe's.

We dispatched intern Sandra Song out to the Trader Joe's on Court Street in Brooklyn this morning to document every single pumpkin item they're offering right now. Her efforts were quickly thwarted, however, as an overachieving employee spotted her SLR camera and asked her to stop taking photos. What are you hiding Trader Joe's? 34 pumpkin-flavored items, that's what.

After a quick reprimand from the manager, we reconvened and decided on a Plan B: take the F to Union Square and covertly shoot the rest of the pumpkin items with an iPhone at the Trader Joe's there. Mission: pumpkomplished.

Here are the 35 pumpkin items on the shelves at Trader Joe's that we spotted today, plus a few more that were either sold out or hiding from us.

1. Real pumpkins (classy move!)
2. Pecan Pumpkin Instant Oatmeal (with "rich pumpkin flavor")
3. Pumpkin soup
4. Pumpkin bar baking mix
5. Pumpkin pancake and waffle mix
6. Harvest Blend salad with pumpkin seeds, pumpkin cornbread croutons, and pumpkin vinaigrette
7. Pumpkin kringle
8. Pumpkin cream cheese muffins
9. Pumpkin bagels
10. Mini ginger pumpkin ice cream mouthfuls
11. Pumpkin pie mochi ice cream
12. Pumpkin ice cream
13. Pumpkin bread pudding
14. Pumpkin pie
15. Pumpkin macarons
16. Mini pumpkin pie
17. Pumpkin cheesecake
18. Pumpkin croissants
19. Pumpkin waffles
20. Pumpkin cornbread croutons
21. Pumpkin Joe-Joe's cookies
22. Pumpkin biscotti
23. Pumpkin spice chai
24. Pumpkin cornbread mix
25. Pumpkin seed brittle
26. Pumpkin butter
27. Organic pumpkin (in a can)
28. Pumpkin spice coffee
29. Pumpkin spice salted caramels
30. Iced pumpkin scone cookies
31. Pumpkin O's cereal
32. This Pumpkin Walks Into A Bar cereal bars
33. Organic frosted pumpkin toaster pastries
34. Country pumpkin spice granola cereal
35. Pumpkin cranberry crisps

Not pictured:

36. Pumpkin butter
37. Pumpkin cream cheese
38. Pumpkin beer
39. Pumpkin seeds
40. Pumpkin ravioli
41. Pumpkin scone mix
42. Pumpkin dog treats
43. Pumpkin yogurt
44. Pumpkin spice tea

Additional reporting and pumpkin product intel from Sandra Song.