Do you enjoy reading scathing restaurant reviews? How about scathing restaurant reviews written entirely in the form of questions? Have you read New York Times critic Pete Wells's spectacular takedown of Guy Fieri's Times Square monstrosity Guy's American Kitchen & Bar yet? Do you want us to wait?

Where to start with the wonders of this review? Should we follow everyone else's lead and list some of the best questions that Wells wonders? Or should we maybe add a few questions of our own? Because how could Pete Wells forget to mention that half the menu tastes like eating a salt lick? And that the drinks, when not glowing "like nuclear waste," have enough sugar in them to put an average person into a diabetic coma? And is nobody going to talk about the horrible feeling that hits your stomach an hour after you leave Guy's?

The real question is, will any of this matter? Were any non-food writers in New York actually planning on going to Guy's? And will any tourists from the rest of the country even care what a snobby critic from the liberal New York Times has to say about the joint?

We don't know, we're just glad this review exists. Bravo.