We're looking at a loveless Valentine's Day this year, having been robbed of the purest mode of romantic communication in existence: Sweethearts, the ubiquitous minty chalk morsels stamped with charming sweet nothings like "TOP CHEF" and "HEAT WAVE" and "IM ME" and "GO HOME." (I would never lie to you.)

New England Confectionary Company—Necco, formerly the maker of Sweethearts—folded in July 2018, ending a 100-plus year reign over the conversation heart market. Although the Spangler Candy Company purchased Necco's corpse (certain parts of it, anyway) in September, the new parent company did not get its shit together in time to fulfill staggering Sweethearts demand.

Realistically, it would have been pretty much impossible for Spangler to churn out enough Sweethearts to mollify us monsters in such a short time stretch: According to CandyStore.com, we as a nation run through
more than 19 million pounds of these gross-but-fun candies every year, making conversation hearts the most popular Valentine's Day candy in the country. But now, according to the site, "Necco is dead, and so are Sweethearts." At least we'll never run out of Valentine cockroaches.

However! Sweethearts will likely be back for 2020, Spangler Chief Executive Kirk Vashaw told CandyStore.com. You may also spot some in your local pharmacy, bodega, or 99-cent store, although these will not be fresh inventory; they will have been manufactured before July 2018. Does that matter when the food item in question is a preservative rock? I'm not sure! Snack at your own risk. Or, roll the dice on off-brand Sweethearts, which personal experience leads me to believe are sharper and more likely to crack your teeth.

Because how in the heck else are you supposed to tell your crush to "DO GOOD," if you cannot pelt them with sugar pebble messages? Well, have you considered using a lasagna to make your big announcement? People are doing that now. Perhaps if it's not worth saying with lasagna, it's not worth saying at all.