We are now only 11 days away from the permanent neutering of college students' favorite alco-caffeinated beverage, Four Loko. Forget 2012: these are the dark days now. Shepherd of the Loko flock Eddie Huang has been shut down, despondent teens are crashing their cars all over, and even dear, sweet Bobbi Kristina, daughter of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, was caught in pictures in a tornado of Four Loko-fueled lesbian experimentation. Some unscrupulous individuals have even taken to selling the heart-achingly sugary drink on Craigslist; thankfully, as you can tell from the picture above, a few NYU students still remember the historical and spiritual significance of the eight nights of Four Loko.
And though they may kill the brand Four Loko, though they may outlaw beverages which combine ridiculously high doses of alcohol and caffeine, they cannot break our spirits—and this we guarantee: for every Four Loko that may fall, a new alcohol infused whipped cream, or a 40-proof alcohol infused chocolate milk concoction, will rise from its ashes, like a drunken phoenix on Mardi Gras.