With the main (but not only!) Times Square T.G.I. Friday's closed and gone along with the TV-filled ESPN Zone, the spacey Mars 2112 and the tacky Hawaiian Tropic Zone it is about time that the Great White Way got itself a new holding pen for folks from the flyover states, right? Thank goodness for Guy Fieri! Because yes, the bleached Food Network star is opening his first New York restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, this Sunday on 44th Street. Finally a place in the city to wear our "Kulinary Krew" Kaps without shame!

Oh you think we are joking, but there is something honestly refreshing how little of a shit the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives host seems to give about the New York food scene he is dropping into. "Look, I’m not Mario Batali, I’m not Bobby Flay—there’s only one of those cats," the personality told the Post of his new joint. "I’m not trying to be something that I’m not." And since he isn't trying, neither should we.

Fieri's new resto looks to be every bit the self-serving brand extension you'd hope for the man. That means his cookware and cutlery, books and t-shirts are all up front and on sale alongside dishes we'd only make in our own homes on the day before rent was due, y'know like "tequila turkey fettucine" and "root beer pork ribs." But if Fieri and his restaurant's Fender Room makes tourists happy, and keeps them out of our hair, more power to 'em. We'll know where to send the zombies to fill up when the time comes.

220 44th Street

Oh, you want more? Here's just a sample of the joint's lunch menu!

Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders
buttermilk-brined, all white-meat tenders coated in crunchy, crushed pretzels served with spicy honey-dijon dipping sauce

Malibu Oysters
fresh broiled oysters on the half-shell stuffed with peppers, spinach, onion, and creamy havarti

Firecracker Chicken Wings
glazed in sweet, sticky honey-soy marinade, topped with sesame + scallions

Sangria Glazed Shrimp
sautéed shrimp, red onion, bell peppers, green apple, crispy noodles + signature sangria glaze

Chipotle Shrimp with Cajun Hot Links
tomatoes, scallions, penne pasta + chipotle bbq cream sauce

Beer and Honey Porchetta
garlic, herb and fennel stuffed porchetta, rotisserie roasted and glazed
with morgan’s red ale, orange blossom honey and milk + spinach and beans

The Ringer
Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural creekstone farms black angus beef patty, crispy rojo onion ring, bourbon brown sugar bbq sauce, ltop, smc, and a slathering of donkey sauce on garlic-buttered brioche

Grilled Lamb Chops with Mint Pesto
rosemary, garlic and lemon marinated lamb chops, fresh minted pesto + seasonal vegetables

The Triple Double Pie
chocolate chip mint ice cream, chocolate wafer cookies, mint candy + chocolate sauce

Salted Whiskey Caramel Fool
sea salt whiskey caramel, macerated strawberries, toasted pound cake, fresh whipped cream + pecans