2006_01_ARTS_FDAY.jpgWe, like so many others in this city, depend on Fresh Direct to bring us delicious things to fill our cabinets and fridge. They don't judge us if we order too much wine or not enough vegetables. They don't complain about the 5 flights of stairs they climb to deliver us our groceries. But now, our lovable little grocer has delivered us a "Brokenhearted Menu" for the upcoming Valentine's Day.

That's right all of you New York singles, Fresh Direct has what you need - even when nobody else does, and they've conveniently sub-categorized it into sections titled: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

The best part is the text which prefaces the selections:

Is Valentine's Day simply a stinging reminder of singlehood, like a coarse-grained sea salt rubbed into your painful, wounded heart? We've got a few ideas on how to ease the suffering a bit. Just check out our handy selection of our favorite items for the brokenhearted. From bitters (to match your mood) to thyme (said to heal all wounds) these items might cushion the bumpy trip from blind denial all the way to a newfound acceptance of single life.

Coarse-grained sea salt rubbed into your painful, wounded heart?! Who is writing this copy, Sylvia Plath? So order lots of alcohol and ice cream, singles, Fresh Direct will deliver it right to the door of your bell jar.